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#10 Life is sexually tansmitted



#9 Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die.



#8 Men have two emtoions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwhich.



#7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for the day; teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.



#6 Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help smile when you shove them down the stairs.



#5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying the hospital dying of nothing.



#4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.



#3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents???



#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take prozac to make it normal.



And the number one thought for 2007: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.





(Please note, I did not think these up.. I found them.. a joke. ha ha.. I don't want to hear bs about it.. really.. thank you)